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1st February 2008, 11:48 |
#91
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Mania Member
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C O M P U T E R
What is a computer's first sign of old age?
Loss of memory. What does a baby computer call his father? Data. What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space bar. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk. Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat. What is a computer virus? A terminal illness. To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer. Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are. Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes. My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI. The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord |
We kill because we are afraid of our own shadow, afraid that if we used a little common sense we'd have to admit that our glorious principles were wrong. ~Henry Miller
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1st February 2008, 11:57 |
#92
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Mania Member
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Tendjewberrymud
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel
guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review..... Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?" G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS : "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS:"San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes means." RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, Tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tendjewberrymud" |
We kill because we are afraid of our own shadow, afraid that if we used a little common sense we'd have to admit that our glorious principles were wrong. ~Henry Miller
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19th August 2013, 17:34 |
#95
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Addict Member
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